Monday, January 31, 2005

Blogg-a-rhe-a of the brain

Is it pathetic that this is my THIRD posting today? Don't worry, I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon and I will go for WEEKS without posting and it will all even out.

I had to come back and write after I read this on another blog...

"I've never uttered one of those I-just-found-a-dead-body girly screams."

...because I thought you might like to know that I HAVE!!

When I was just a wee pre-pubescent teen, I was living in Lake Havasu and a crew was there filming a move later to be titled (entitled?) Olivia (Please, god, don't try to find it/watch it because it was so monumentally horrible I believe all copies have sunk back into the tar pits from whence they came). I don't remember how I came to be in it (along with my brother, a friend of his and the daughter of my mother's co-worker), something my mother finaggled I'm sure.

So all of us kiddlets, in the scene, were riding in paddle boats under the majestic London Bridge and splashing each other. In the ensuing splashing I, mini-super star that I was, scoop up a hand with a GIANT fish hook through it and said hand is attached to a delightfully bloated corpse. (I just want to take a moment to point out that I had gotten up EXTRA early and pain stakingly fixed my hair, I believe it was gloriously feathered at the time - early 80's - and quite possible put on a little makeup in preparation for being in a "MOVIE!!!". All you actually see of me in the movie is a dark blob - the sun was behind me - that, if you could see her, would closely resemble a drowned rat.) At this point I am supposed to scream. Well, I had a cold, or something, and the scream kept coming out "aaAAAhhhh AAhhhHHhhh" and like a siren that is about to die. They even took me up on shore and reshot me screaming NUMEROUS times until they probably wanted to skewer ME with a giant fish hook and leave me to bloat. Needless to say, in the final cut, another's voice is heard. I know how Andee McDowell felt when Tarzan came out.

Now in my defense, I would just like to point out that I have a FABULOUS scream. Really. Just an impressive set of lungs. Many years later I was in a haunted house as an Aztec sacrifice and I had to scream all night as my still beating heart was cut out. I received many accolades from my fellow hauntees as the strength and longevity of my screaming prowess. So there.