Thursday, February 03, 2005

...And with my neighbor.

So here I am, sitting in the food court of SuperTarget with the monsters, because I wanted a soft pretzel and the biggest Coke they make and you KNOW I can't get something for me without getting something for them and they decide to eat lunch - spaghettios. I always try to get them to just take it home and eat it, but Monster #1 likes to eat out in public (instead of saying something like "Mommy, can we go to McDonald's for lunch" he'll say "Mommy, can we have lunch in public today"). Anyway, one of my neighbors comes in to get a Icee for her son and sees me.

Now, I have only lived here for about five months and I have just seen her at like bunco and the neighborhood picnic and we were on a committee together to plan the neighborhood Halloween shindig. So, I don't really know her very well, but she is really nice.

I am trying to talk to her about her upcoming trip to Cancun (her husband's company sends them every year and they pay for EVERYTHING!! The bitch.) and how my mother-in-law is moving to the 'hood, etc. Monster #1 decides he has to stand at my elbow and keep poking me and whispering things he thinks I should tell her. This gets old preeeeeetty quickly.

Me (to my neighbor): Excuse me a moment

Me (to Monster #1): If you don't quit bugging me and go sit down and eat the rest of your Cheetos I'm going to take of your shoe and your sock and start biting off your toes until you do.

Monster #1: grumble grumble grumble (all the way back to his seat)

My neighbor (looking at me with a concerned look): Uh.....

Me: Oh, I wouldn't actually bite off his toes. His feet stink WAY too much for me to get my face that close to them.

My neighbor (mustering up a watery smile): Oh! Uh... of course. Well, we really need to get going.

I REALLY think I'm going to fit in here.