Tuesday, February 22, 2005

It IS a Conspiracy - I'm NOT Just Paranoid

I am used to the fact that hub doesn't listen to 90% of the things I say and that my children just hear "waaaaaah waaaaaaah waaaah" (see previous post), but this morning I was shocked and irritated to find that now even inanimate objects refuse to hear and obey.

Hub was out of town so I have to do one of the things I hate... Go out and bring in the paper (I was also supposed to take the trash out to the curb yesterday too but.....). Back in AZ this was no biggie. But here, where it is like in the 40's today, it sucks. Now I probably should point out that if I was not such a lazy little cow lounging about the house in my little PJ outfit this would not be the traumatic experience that it is. But I am and therefore it is (go Descartes!). Oh and I am also too lazy to put on a coat. Yep. Now I know at this point I have lost all sympathy due to my "bringing it on myself" blah blah blah. But follow along people. I do have a point and it's coming up.

Anyhoo, I open the garage door (because it sticks out farther then the front door and therefore leaves me susceptible to elemental forces for a shorter period of time) and scurry out like a scavenger scanning for road kill. I send a silent curse toward the paper person for getting it in the grass (I see that $20 tip I gave you at Christmas hasn't improved your aim) and thusly making me get my feet freezing wet then I skitter back into the garage. Leaping nimble over ride-on toys, helmets and sawdust piles, I am once again at the door to the warm inner sanctum and I hit the button to bring the metal curtain down on my outdoor episode. The door shivers goes down about 2 inches then stops. Now since I usually just hit the button and run, I am starting to shut the inside door when I realize that it would be the only one shut. Hmmm, I say then I hit the button again. It shudders again and goes back up. Hmmm, I say again and I push the button again. And, again, it shudders down two-ish inches and stops. Now I must have been channeling "man" at this point because I stood there and pressed the button through several more 2-inches-down-2-inches-up cycles muttering "Hmmm" the whole time. Finally I just push the button and hold it down until the door complains it's way all the way down.

Thus proving that even though it just sounds like I'm bitching, it's actually true - NO ONE LISTENS TO ME!!!

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go read the funnies.