Sunday, February 06, 2005

Memory theory

Humans have bed memories.

Proof #1- women who have more than one child. ESPECIALLY the wierdos who CHOOSE natural childbirth given the plethora of good drugs out there. (me - Can I have an epidural yet? How about now? Now? Come on! Now? What about now? I think now would be a good time. Pretty please? How about now? Well than what else can I have? Is that all you got? Um... how about now?)

Proof #2 - Anyone who does more than one DIY project.

Thus follows our cautionary tale........

My mother-in-law gave us a gift card to Lowes for Christmas so we could replace our kitchen sink. She had them figure in how much it would be to buy a sink, as well as a new faucet, and get it installed and that is how much is on the card. Hub & I decide we can save the $250-ish dollars that it's going to cost to have it installed and do it ourselves thus leaving more money to buy, um, more DIY stuff.

First trip to store, just to scout out sink and faucet options: 10 minutes of arguing in sink aisle including much yelling at kids to "get off that" and "don't touch that" and 10 minutes arguing in the faucet aisle including "what are you, retarded?" and "If you two touch ONE MORE THING I am taking you over to the refrigerator displays and shutting you in one!!! "

Second trip to store to buy sink, faucet, new garbage disposal (as we will have SOOOO much extra money), and all gewgaws recommended by DIY website for DIY sink/faucet/garbage disposal replacement: "I hate you" and "If a divorce attorney were standing in front of me RIGHT NOW with papers I would sign them" and "BOTH of you keep BOTH of your hands where I can see them at ALL TIMES!!!" and "How did you get back there? Get out RIGHT NOW!!!" and me stomping off, with the kids, to go look at Dora and Jimmy Neutron paint samples.

No, I will not torture you with the horrid tales of installation, but I will tell you this...
hub had to make SIX trips back to Lowes (doubling my pre-project estimate).

But this conversation did occur...

Hub: Listen!
Me: I am listening. Apparently I am the only one WITH that capability.

Obviously we were being nice here.

I figure a $250 installer/plumber is MUCH cheaper than Marriage Counseling.

And divorce court.

Thank god for Super Bowl - we won't have to talk to each other all night.