Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Waaaah waah WAAAH waah waaaah

My life is a Charlie Brown cartoon. Okay, not the whole cartoon, just the parts where Chuck is in school. I am the teacher, you know, the voice that the only thing you hear is "Waaahhh waahhh WAAAHHH".

I KNOW this is how my husband and kids hear me...

What I say: "Can you please turn that down?"
What they hear "Waaah waaahhh WAAAHH waaahh waaaaaah WAAAHHHH?"

What I say: "Honey, Can you grab the kids' jackets?"
What he hears: "Waahhhh, waahh waahh WAHHH WAAAAAHH WAAAHHHHHHH?!!"

(Also unheard - sound of head pounding on wall in background)
Husband: "What's that red mark on your head? You breaking out or something?"
Me (under breath): #&#&&%!! FFF##&%***!!

Did I introduce myself? I have many names: laundry fairy, food wrangler, appointment bully, oh-great-giver-of-baths, anointed-pasha-of-errands, etc, etc, etc, (The last part spoken by Yul Brynner as The King in "The King and I" - "et-CET-er-ah, et-CET-er-ah, et-CET-er-ah" including dismissive hand waive.)

Oh my little family, if you only knew what lurks below the surface........

And, no, I did NOT get up at 7am today. So bite me.