Saturday, March 26, 2005

Phone Home

Another chapter from the "I Don't Fit In Here" files....

I'm in Sam's Club on Friday (discovering that Good Friday must be flock-to-Sam's-Club-Friday here in OK), buying like $250 worth of miscellaneous economy sized "necessities" (because who can live another single day without a case of Sunny Delight in sport top bottles?) and I notice that this guy and his kid in line behind me are buying five gigantic size bags of Reeses Pieces. Just the Reeses Pieces, nothing else (one would think they would want a drink or something, but apparently not).

Finally, as the cashier is ringing up my order (and placing everything incorrectly back in my cart so that she has to constantly rearrange every 30 seconds or so), my inner cat caves in to curiosity's siren's song....

Me: "Okay, I just have to ask, what's with all the Reese's Pieces?"

Man: blank stare

Me: pointing at mounded bags of Reese's Pieces moving down the belt, and smiling best charming smile, "Are you having an ET party?"

Man: blank stare turns to look at Reese's Pieces then blankly back at me.
Kid: Apparently having a petit mal seizure as his expression has not changed once

Me: glutton for punishment, "Seriously, what's with all the Reese's Pieces?"

Man: Blink. Blink. "We have a candy machine."

Me: Relieved Rainman has decided to speak, "Oh! That makes sense!"

Today's solemn vow - I will NEVER eat Reese's Pieces out of a candy machine EVER again.