Friday, March 18, 2005

Where's the Street Wise Hercules?

My Aunt L and Uncle T, who live in Bumblefuck, Nebraska (no, that's not the real name, I stole it from Nick) have been my relationship heroes for years. They met in high school and fell in love. She was pregnant with my cousin when she received her diploma (total scandal 30-ish years ago) and they got married. To this day they still have such love in their eyes when they look at each other that it amazes me every time I see it. They still admire and respect each other and make each other laugh.

Last summer, when the monsters and I were up visiting, my aunt told me this story.

Uncle T decides that they need a new truck so he and Aunt L drop the kids off at Grandma's and go to the local dealership (probably Bob's dealership, you know Gert and Al's son?, and they know Bob and where every single car on the lot came from, one of THOSE towns). Again, by "dealership" I mean the old building with all the cars parked in the lot that may or may not have a sign designating it as Ford or Chevy or whatever.

Where was I? Oh yes...

So they pick out a truck and get the deal done. Then they drive their old truck back to Grandma's and pick up the kids. Driving away from Grandma's, Uncle T says,

"Let's go see a movie at the drive-in."

Of course the kids, who are young school-age-ish, go bananas. After a few miles he says,

"Well this windshield sure is dirty."

Aunt L says, "Well, let's stop and wash it."

But Uncle T hems and haws and says, 'But it has that big crack in it."

The kids start freaking out because they think their trip to the drive-in is in jeopardy. About this time they are approaching the dealership. Uncle T says,

"Well forget this dirty old truck! Let's take that one!"

and he points at the shiny new truck, sitting in the lot that, unbeknownst to the kids, they have just purchased. So they pull into the lot, unload the kids, who have eyes the size of watermelons and their mouths hanging open, and load them in the shiny new truck and off to the drive-in they go.

THAT is the kind of man I wanted to marry.