Monday, April 11, 2005

Dear Deity.....

Why are they remaking Amityville Horror?

Why are they remaking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Why would Target still have three tubes of Loreal Paris Dermo-Expertise New Sublime Slim Anti-Cellulite + Skin Sculpting Body Firming Gel - Day, but be completely OUT of Loreal Paris Dermo-Expertise New Sublime Slim Anti-Cellulite + Skin Sculpting Body Firming Gel - Night?

Is Merv in "Sin City" SUPPOSED to look like Kirk Douglas?

Why does it ALWAYS take my son FOREVER to get out of the car when I queue up to drop him off for pre-school? Have I not EXPLAINED to him on NUMEROUS OCCASIONS that we are HOLDING UP THE LINE??!!

What is the half-life of a Butterfinger once it has become permanently lodged in one's molars?

Who WOULDN'T curb-kick Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie?

Why does having short hair mean that you've "given up"?

Why are there never Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of the grocery store when you actually WANT some?

Why do I have such primate arms so that I can't find long-sleeves long enough to actually reach all the way down to my wrists?

When the hell is summer going to be here??

Why is it again that marijuana isn't legal?

Am I Pope yet?