Thursday, April 28, 2005

Don't Let Them Stick Their Finger in Your Dike

This song has been running through my head (if you know it, please feel free to sing along, and if I flub some of the words, go get your own freaking blog and stop being so critical!))

I am a pretty little Dutch girl
As pretty as pretty can be
And all the boys
Around my block
Are crazy over me

I L-O-V-E love you
I K-I-S-S kiss you
I K-I-S-S kiss you on your
F-A-C-E face face face!

I have a boyfriend Fatty
He comes from Cincinnati
With forty-eight toes
And a pickle on his nose
And this is what he says to me

I L-O-V-E love you
I K-I-S-S kiss you
I K-I-S-S kiss you on your
F-A-C-E face face face!

One day when I was walking
I heard my boyfriend talking
To a little girl
With a strawberry curl
And this is what he said to her

I L-O-V-E love you
I K-I-S-S kiss you
I K-I-S-S kiss you on your
F-A-C-E face face face!



Ok, so this girl is attractive, although we may be able to assume she is a little conceited (I mean who goes around saying that they are "as pretty as pretty can be"? Exactly.). She's pretty and all the boys are after her. She may put out - we don't know. We just have the lyrics.

Pretty girl has a boyfriend. Now the boyfriend is obviously not a looker. Even if you can somehow IGNORE the obesity (we assume) and the PLETHORA of extra podiatric digits, the guy has a PICKLE on his nose (I'm thinking it's a dill).

Now I picture her liking his toes (maybe he is, let's say, TALENTED with them). Maybe she accepts and loves his pickle too. She's a salty snack kind of girl. She even loves Cincinnati (WKRP fan, the works). You think he would be THRILLED to find a pretty girl who loves him for who he is.

But nooooooo!

By the NEXT VERSE he is putting the moves on ANOTHER GIRL!!! Same lines and everything! Is this how things work in the Netherlands?

Or is it just MEN?