Saturday, April 09, 2005

If You're Evil and You Know it, Stomp Your Hind Feet

(Alternate Title - "Reincarnation - It Ain't All Cleopatra and King Arthur")


I have found where you go if you are very bad in your past life.

Yesterday, my favorite neighbor took the monsters and I to the zoo. Whilst enjoying (well, not to begin with) the snake exhibit, my neighbor rolls her little tyke's stroller right up to the glass to watch a diamondback snake who is trying to slither UP the side glass. This go-getter keeps slowly weaving his way up the glass, back and forth, so persistently and methodically that I am reminded of a certain recent movie starring Jamie Fox. (wait for it.... wait for it... starts with an "R"... ends with an "ay"... got it? Oh NEVER MIND!!)

"Hmmmm. That's interesting." I quip and I start to turn and walk away.

Then I notice what is in the glass enclosure on the OTHER side of the snake. Huddled up against the wall AS FAR AWAY FROM THE SNAKE AS POSSIBLE (indeed, even trying to shrink back into it's own fur) is a little handful-o-puffball of a cottontail. The legend above the enclosure notes that cottontails are the "blue plate special" of diamondbacks everywhere (no, of COURSE it didn't say "blue plate special", but "preffered diet" is just a little to dry for these hallowed halls. Okay? Can I continue? Thank you.)

I find this SO WRONG that I burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh! I wonder what THAT guy did in his past life that was SO BAD that he came back as a RABBIT in a SNAKE EXHIBIT!!"

Still snorting with laughter, I look again at the enclosure and notice that the poor huddled creature's carrot-hunk lunch has been placed on the floor, by the glass, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SNAKE!!! (Zoo employees = animal lovers MY ASS!!!)

Again, laughing even harder, I point this out. As I turn, I see a woman who actually looks pale and stunned by this whole revelation.

I bet she's plotting a complex rescue plan right now.