Monday, April 04, 2005

Might as Well Face It - I'm Addicted to Blog

Help me.

Seriously.

My children are running out of underwear. I can't find the wood portion of my desk top. We are eating out a repulsive amount. A sparkling array of books sits gathering dust upon my lonely nightstand. Movies linger on TiVo, unwatched, until they die of old age and drop off. I believe my kitchen floor is growing a pelt.

I am so addicted to blog surfing it is affecting my mental health.

Oh, "Next Blog" button, you are so tempting and alluring. I am drawn to the Vegas-slot-machine-like response you elicit. You had me at "Next". You had me at "Next".

Recently I went to comment on a "Next Blog" blog and found the other comment was from a blog I read frequently. What a co-inky-dink, you might say. I think not. It's the karma of blog. The natural flowing cycle of blog. Or as Cate so eloquently puts it, The Incestuous Circle of Blog.

I store up blog stories, Stephen-King-"Bag-of-Bones"-like, so as to keep you, the discriminating public, happy. I picture you like Perry White, sitting behind your desk, teeth gnashing furiously on a stogie, barking "Where's the story??!! You call THAT a STORY? GET OUTTA MY OFFICE!!!"

I like finding promising new bloggers and giving them the comment nudge to keep up the good work. I lurk around the "bigger fish", neglecting to comment as I feel 68 comments already is more than enough.

I do a lot of eyerolling and snorting derisively. A LOT.

Between the non-blog-related masturbation and the blog-addict-necessitated mouse use, I'm pretty sure I will be losing all use of my right hand post haste. Maybe I can use my toes. For the COMPUTER you freaks! I'm not THAT limber.