Thursday, April 07, 2005

Wait 'Till I Catch Your Little Green Ass...

Dear Lucky Charms people,

I know you worked very hard on the vitamin fortifying and the "part of this complete breakfast" but, I gotta tell you, you're barking up the wrong tree. I feel I speak for the global "many" when I say, we only buy your cereal for the tasty crunchy marshmallow goodness. Period. End of story.

I appreciate, truly I do, the modicum of exercise digging for the tasty treats affords me. But really, I'm not here for the "plot" folks, just give me the money shot. Everything else is just effluvium that has to be Hoovered up. I don't like to Hoover.

So I ask you, nay BEG you, put more marshmallows in the cereal. By "more" I mean a ratio of 90% marshmallow to 10% cereal (assuming cereal has to be involved at all). I don't care if they look like Lucky's hat, Lucky's rainbow or Lucky's sphincter - just load me up.

I thank you in advance for your attention to this vitally important matter.