Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I Didn't Call You A Swallow, I Said YOU SWALLOW

On the way back from the bank today I stopped at a red light (not because I WANTED to stop, mind you, but all the law abiding suckers in FRONT of me stopped thus blocking my way). On the corner to my right was a gas station. In the parking lot of the gas station two little birds were on the ground just GOING AT IT!

I mean they were just all talons and tail feathers. I've seen birds fight on the ground before but they usually just get a few digs in then fly off to fight in the trees or mid-air or whatever. But these two were on the ground THE ENTIRE TIME we sat at the light.

It was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom at it's finest. Animal Planet would have been ALL OVER these two moronic little birds rolling around, duking it out. I could picture Steve Irwin crouching around them, there on the asphalt, saying "Krikey! These two little fellas are really givin' it a go!"

Seriously, it was AWESOME!

As the light turned green and we slowly drove away, I looked back and saw a big ol' snarly redneck standing by the gas pumps, arms crossed over his swollen hairy beer belly, just standing watching the show. Front row center.

And, god help me, in that brief and shining moment, I wanted to BE that redneck.