Tuesday, May 31, 2005

No, I Just DON'T Learn. Thanks For Asking.

There is a REASON why Slip N Slides say that no one over 5 feet tall or 100 pounds should use the damn thing.

What it SHOULD say is more like:

"Hey you dumb cow! Don't even think about trying to bellyflop down this thing? Have you not NOTICED that you are almost WIDER than the slipping surface? Plus we feel we must point out, since it is obvious that you have a complete and troubling disregard for your own safety, that your swimsuit has a large metal O placed strategically in the crunchy bony center of your chest. Not to mention the fact that we have heard that you are already a flashing menace to the neighborhood children. Just don't. Really. Don't."

Sincerely,
The Chortling Fools at the appropriately named Whamm-O Corporation

PS - Our attorneys would like to add, "We told you so".

PPS - If you by any chance have video, could you please send us a copy? We like to show stuff like that at the company picnic. It REALLY boosts moral. Thanks.