Thursday, May 05, 2005

Sins of the Mother

Dear OTHER neighbor,

I realize that you are trying to "get a handle on" your finances. You are trying to "economize" and are taking "baby steps" in some sort of financial AA program. I know this because you have told me. More than once.


I have noticed that you have your hair professionally highlighted. It looks great, really. Very nice. I also know that you have a gym membership (I ONLY know this because you have mentioned it - your baggy t-shirts leave me with no other choice than to take your word for it). It is also common knowledge that you would buy a steaming turd if it had "OSU" emblazoned on it (money seeming to be of no consequence in pursuit of orange oblivion).

So FOR THE LOVE OF GOD give your kids a couple bucks when the ice cream man comes cruising into the cul-de-sac. PLEASE don't make me see their sad little faces ONE MORE TIME when EVERYONE ELSE (including me and best-neighbor-ever-mom) is getting a little piece of frozen paradise.

Stupid fucked-up-priorities cow.

PS - YES, both best-neighbor-ever-mom and I have tried NUMEROUS times to just get them something, but she never lets us. ONE time, ONE!!!, the girl (age 5) ran out all excited to get something (I thought best-neighbor-ever-mom's eyeballs were going to fall out) and announced that she was getting something because she had lost her first tooth and the tooth fairy had left her money! How just plain old WRONG is that? Yeah, that's what I thought too.