Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Slam Dunk

I'm not even drunk, I swear, yet I feel the time has come to share with you the tale of.....

How Our Heroine Came to Have Sex in the Center Court Circle of Her High School Gym the Summer AFTER She Graduated From Said High School.

My boyfriend at the time (also knows as best-sex-of-my-life-and-quite-possibly-several-other-people's-lives) lived only about a block from the school. One night, probably under the influence of "something", I really don't remember (it's quite possible we could have even been sober. We were young, dumb and in love so who knows. High on love / high on Mary Jane / high on filched alcohol. NOT IMPORTANT PEOPLE, let's move it along.) we decide to walk over and check out the old Alma Matter (whose clutches we had smugly escaped only a few months prior).

When we get there, he tells me that if you pull on BOTH of the gym doors at the SAME TIME, the will open. Sure enough, POP!, they open sesame. I look around nervously for 5-0 because I basically am a good little law abiding citizen. He pooh-poohs my fear and drags me into air conditioned comfort (as anyone who has spent any time in Arizona during the summer, it is H-O-T at night too).

We shoot a couple of baskets, generally goof off a bit, then go back to the wrestling room. After jumping around on the mats and climbing the rope, we start making out. Then we progress around the bases accordingly. Right before he slides into home for the first time, yes people this was our *FIRST TIME* together, I say "If we are going to do it, let's make it memorable." So I hop up and lead him by the hand out to center court. He looked thrilled and stunned and pinch-me-I'm-dreaming and he couldn't wipe the goofy smile off his face. I drag him down to the floor and we do the deed. Yes, I had bruises on my spine, but it seemed like such a good idea at the time, even though I kept waiting for lights to slam on and people to come flooding in.

Then went back in the wrestling room and banged around in there too.

I would also like to mention that they filmed "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" at my High School (Go San Dimas my ASS!) and I got hit on by one of the actors. He played the bully. Don't remember any bully from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"? That's because they CUT ALL HIS SCENES. Heh heh heh. That's what you get for trying to hit on a girl by giving her a signed head shot. Who do you think you are? David Hasselhoff?

And have I mentioned that David Hasselhoff is on video with his hands around my neck strangling me? It's true. I swear. But that is a story for another day......