Monday, July 04, 2005

Laughing at the Expense of a Senile Little Old Lady

Oh yes, I am indeed a sick and twisted puppy.

Case in point - this is one of my FAVORITE stories.

My great-uncle A died. He was survived by his wife E and a couple of children and probably grandchildren. I'm not sure. Yeah, we're close.

The rats had started deserting E's mental ship several years back and by this time the ship was still moving but no one was at the helm. They got her dressed up and parked her in a pew at the church for the funeral.

When the first sympathisizer stopped by her pew to give their condolences, it went a little something like this...

Greiving Wellwisher - Oh E! How are you doing?

E - I'm doing fine thank you. I just wish the service would start.

GW - Well, that's good to hear. (patting hand)

E - Are you with the bride or the groom?

GW - Um, what?

E - Who's wedding is this again?

GW - (gulp) E. It's A's funeral, remember.

E - WHAT! A'S DEAD! GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

At which point she completely breaks down including hysterical sobbing and attempting to rend the clotheing of not only herself but everyone with in reach.

They take her to the back of the church, get her clamed down and, eventually, back in her seat.

Fifteen minutes later, someone else let's it slip again that A. is dead.

"HE'S DEAD??!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Off she goes again.

After the third round everyone is getting a little shell-shocked having to re-live the bad news over and over so they position someone by the door to tell EVERYONE walking in they should NOT, under any circumstances, let E know that this is A's funeral.

Later that evening she nibbles cookies and says it was a beautiful wedding.