Sunday, September 18, 2005

March of the Blogs

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What is that in the toilet you ask?

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I guess when they included his cocktail shaker in the credits, you knew it was going to be interesting.

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I should not speak to people.

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I have a feeling these girls werent bullied enough in school.

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i've always been one that doesn't have to go the bathroom until we're driving in the middle of nowhere.

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After all, screen door companies must know that the tiny plastic lock is a vital element in keeping their customers safe.

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do you like me?
circle yes or no

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I should have spent more time around the Love Canal in my youth so I could have grown a couple more atrophied (but ultimately helpful) limbs.

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People are not warm-hearted beings of love; they are discrete units of logic.

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I LOVE YOU, JUSTIN. But not as much as Jesus.

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Every time I see a carcass lying on the road, I close my mouth, lest I ingest a fly that’s just been gorging on rat.

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Before I knew it, I was fully engaged in an arm wrestling skirmish with Steve Austin’s Spawn.

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Marmite isn't really a food. It's a chainsaw lubricant/axle grease.

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I think she's more like 'relatively' the hottest teacher, because the rest are like miniature dinosaurs or giant fossils.

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Believe it or not, we called the local Klan about 2 weeks ago, and they actually admitted that they don't do anything anymore, because they are broke

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It wasn't bear season, and the bear had neither been run over nor had it died of a heart attack.

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Humans are stupid, lying, greedy, slimy beings, and I'm a perfect example of that.

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Questions: 1. Why would someone invent a tricycle with a dozen LOUD sound effect buttons?

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And he's also right when he says something to the effect that if you care more about what gays do in private than in the melting of the polar ice caps, you're part of the problem.

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age is wisdom, people, and all the fogies (and me) roll where cost-effective home-meal replacement is nutritious and delicious

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I'm not so proud of the fact that I've told you people I can give myself an orgasm simply thinking about cans of cheese whizz and an ice cream scoop.

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It's even better than watching Augustus Gloop.

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