Monday, September 12, 2005

Seriously, I LIKE This Girl

Yet again, we visit our heroine, Olivia, from yesterday's post.

"Olivia's theory was that you could divide women into two types: those who were on the Girls' Team, and Undercover Bitches. If a woman was on the Girls' Team, she could be as beautiful, intelligent, rich, famous, sexy, successful and as popular as fuck, and you'd still like her. Women on the Girls' Team had solidarity. They were conspiratorial and brought all their fuck-ups to the table for everyone to enjoy. Undercover Bitches were competitive: they showed off, tried to put others down to make themselves look good, lacked humor and a sense of their own ridiculousness, and said things which sounded okay on the surface but were actually designed to make you feel really bad, couldn't bear it when they weren't getting enough attention, and they flicked their hair. Men didn't get all this. They thought women took against each other because they were jealous. Quite tragic, really."

On The Team - Julia Roberts
Not on The Team - Zsa Zsa Gabor
On The Team - Jamie Lee Curtis
Not on The Team - Pamela Anderson
On The Team - Cameron Diaz
Not on the Team - Paris Hilton
On The Team - Fergie (Duchess of York)
Not on the Team - Fergie (Black Eyed Pea)
On The Team - Helen Fielding
Not on The Team - Mary Higgins Clark

I think it's time for a team party, and I'm NOT talking Pizza Hut.