Monday, November 20, 2006

AJ Ebert

The good thing about my husband being in another state is I get to watch a lot of movies I wouldn't get to otherwise.

This last week I watched Sleepless in Seattle again. I love how, after they meet on top of the Empire State Building, they just can't stop looking at each other. They will look away because, let's face it, outright staring is obnoxious and a little creepy, then they just can't help looking back.

I watched Waterloo Bridge, which I liked except for the fact that Vivian Leigh's character kills herself rather than marry her wait-a-minute-I-thought-you-were-dead fiance' and try to forget that she had to hook for a while to make ends meet. Thinking about hookers "making ends meet" is ALWAYS entertaining.

I also watched Giles' Wife where the wife stands by (and occasionally aids and abets) while her husband has an affair with her sister because she feels that it will all blow over and she will get him back. Then when it DOES all blow over and she gets him back, she throws herself out the attic window. Stupid foreign films.

Speaking of foreign films, I also saw Changing Times with Catherine Deneuve and Gerard Depardieu. Catherine Deneuve, who was over sixty when it was filmed, looked luminous. Can I PLEASE look that fabulous in twenty-three years? It also made me realize that I do not ever want to go to Tangiers. Yuck. Oh, yeah, and the older he gets, the more Gerard Depardieu's nose looks like a penis.

I watched Bubble where a woman is apparently jealous of a younger woman and kills her. The movie takes place in West Virginia and it's one of those movies that makes me realize how blessed and fortunate I am to have the life I have. All the people in that movie live in trailers or crappy apartments or homes with 90% paneling. So even though the movie sucked, it's always good to get a little "But for the grace of God..." moment. I felt the same way about Junebug.

No one died in How to Lose Your Lover, but frankly I only watched it because I wanted to see what kind of train wreck would feature not only Poppy Montgomery but also Tori Spelling.

You know how when you are checking for movies to record on TiVo and you click on a movie title to see what it is about and when you see the name of the first actor that is all you need to know about the movie. If I think a title looks intriguing and I click on the description and am greeted with "starring" names like Melissa Gilbert or William Hurt or Madonna or L L Cool J or, heaven help us, Adrienne Barbeau, you just can just immediately write it off.

I even started to watch a movie called Galaxy Hunter. Sometimes a movie just sounds so bad that it just might be good. It "stars" Shelley Michelle (Kim Basinger's body double who decided she could act - ha!) and, wait for it, Stacy Keech. I mean, this baby is so ugly it's GOT to be cute, right? Wrong! It was like watching the plot of a bad porn movie only no one gets naked. Yes, THAT bad!

However, I do have SOME standards. I will never EVER watch The Pacifier.

Ever.